You all should have went to a better dictionary.

Well into my late thirties, I have just recently fully realized that I constantly and consistently commit what most consider a grammatical faux pas: I say “should have went” rather than “should have gone”. Yes, mock if you like, but as you shall see, the truth is on my side, and i have been made a martyr for a more correct grammar.

My girlfriend, when she recognized this, denigrated my grammar and wrote me off as some hick from Kansas. (Considering she is from Oklahoma, she has no room to make such judgments, but she is smoking hot, unbelievably cool, and generally smart in other areas so I put up with this sort of nonsense)

However, upon investigation and review.  I have decided that, although unorthodox, my grammar is still dead right in this area.

The word “wend” is synonymous with “go” and the past participle of “wend” was originally “went”.  Therefore, according to the original (and therefore holier) usage, I am absolutely correct in saying “Should have went” in exchange for “should have gone.”

Which is why I don’t feel the least bit unlearnt  for continuing to use this pure and precious usage.  I am sure Shakespeare would agree.

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About Jared C

I am a criminal appeals attorney, father of four, raised in Kansas, live in San Diego.
This entry was posted in Brilliant Theories, grammar, Heresy and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to You all should have went to a better dictionary.

  1. Whitney says:

    I sneereth at ye whilst laughing at yon post with delight.

    Okay, who else had to learn the opening to the Canterbury Tales in Middle English back in the day? No one? No? Whan that Aprill….

  2. Daniel says:

    Your explanation is very creative! It could also be the case that, in your dialect, the participle is disappearing.

    Let me ask: Without thinking too hard about it, what form of the [verb] would you use for these sentences?
    [eat] I could have ______ a whole lot more, if it weren’t for my perforated duodenum.
    [do] You didn’t do what you should have _____.
    [sink] If not for that cork, the ship would have _____ out of sight.

    It’s all right; I am a linguist.

  3. Jared C says:

    Eaten,
    Done,
    Sunken

  4. Kullervo says:

    Where I come from, we don’t say “you all,” Redlegs.

  5. Jared C says:

    For the record, i think the Outlaw Josey Wales and all such revisionist southern propaganda mis-portrays the valiant defenders of the right from Kansas. But that is a bit off topic.

  6. Kullervo says:

    We’re gonna have to just agree to disagree about all of this, Jared. I’m trying to limit the orthodoxies enforced here, and I don’t trust myself on this one.

  7. Whitney says:

    Esperanto, why have you forsaken us???

  8. Jared C says:

    If it makes you more comfortable I could change it to

    “Y’all shoulda done gone to a better dictionary”

    ?

  9. Kullervo says:

    You’re mocking.

  10. Jared C says:

    Well, I’m kind of a jack ass so you have to expect some of that.

  11. ijnikkijamesr2 says:

    I am a spam bot.

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