Are Birds the New Bees? (ooh la la!)

We were warned.

One most revered commenter on my most amazing post yesterday indicated that he was somewhat confused by the chaotic brilliance of my theory.

Fair point.  So today, I’m breaking it down with fewer links.

The second angel sounded his trumpet, and something like a huge mountain, all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood, a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed.  The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water–the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.

Rev. 8:8-11.

I think it’s fair to say that the mass fish die-offs we’ve had this week in Arkansas and now the Chesapeake Bay and New Zealand are pretty squarely within the realm of doom of Trumpet Two.  (Pay no attention to the Baltimore Sun’s irresponsible reference to plunging temperatures as a causal factor.  Everyone knows that anything involving climate theories is total New World Order crap.)

Furthermore, as mentioned in my comments on the Other Post, Canadian rivers are actually turning neon green. Please note that as Kullervo has so helpfully pointed out, this raises the strong possibility that we are in the midst of a Mister Spockalypse.  Either way, you canNOT deny that we totally heard the Third Trumpet sound and we didn’t even know it.

Anyway, neither trumpet really implicates birds.  But I think it’s pretty clear that Nature’s in trouble whenever these trumpeting angels start jamming in the great garage in the sky.  Indeed, in addition to the birds I mentioned yesterday, MORE birds have dropped dead over in Sweden.  These were not Godless commie birds either. They were just unfortunate enough to get smited.  (NOT by fireworks!)

So this brings me to my point.  A few years ago, there was significant concern about mass bee colony collapses.  As far as I know, this phenomenon has yet to be fully explained (despite several theories). 

Were the bees our canary in the coal mine???  And are birds the new canaries?

This entry was posted in Brilliant Theories, Eschatology, Token Crazy. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Are Birds the New Bees? (ooh la la!)

  1. Katie L says:

    Okay, seriously now…is that river thing for real?

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