Deification Dress Code

So my wife and I had this discussion this morning and I thought the bloggers and readers (do we have readers?) here could help:

“What is the appropriate thing to wear when one is deified?”

My wife thought, “Toga, because they are always in style,” but I wasn’t so sure. I was thinking something more business-casual, but most of my clothes are made with synthetic fibers and something tells me that wearing anything unnatural would be a major faux pas.

Don’t get the wrong idea: this is not some oblique pre-announcement that I will be deified soon. I just think it’s worth knowing these things—and if I need to update my wardrobe, then I’d like to take advantage of post-holiday sales.

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19 Responses to Deification Dress Code

  1. Kullervo says:

    I thik your wife’s probably got it right. Although nudity is also a classic option for gods and goddesses of all stripes.

    Business casual is awful for mortals and gods alike. I’m pretty sure if you were going to be deified and you showed up in slacks and a button-down shirt they’d be like “eh, never mind. We’ll take the enxt guy in line instead.”

  2. Whitney says:

    I’m actually going to vote for the nekkidness. So much more comfortable. And as God intended. And TSA-approved.

  3. BrianJ says:

    Of course: nudity! I can’t believe I didn’t consider that. {smacks forehead}

    Then again, maybe there just aren’t enough naked religious festivals in my religion. Kullervo has the advantage there. I also see Whitney’s point about the TSA; surely no one carrying nail clippers, toothpaste, or a bottle of water will ever be deified.

    Kullervo: there is a difference between business casual bad and business casual good.

  4. Katie L says:

    Here’s another vote for nudity!

    Or maybe like a soft, soft robe that you can snuggle up in and feel all angelic.

  5. BrianJ says:

    Katie: you can’t throw lightning bolts or conjure plagues while wearing a soft, snuggly robe.

  6. Kullervo says:

    Right? We’re talking about deification here, not “angelification.” Not even beatification. We’re talking straight-up “you are now a god”-ification

  7. Kullervo says:

    Kullervo: there is a difference between business casual bad and business casual good.

    I do sport the suit sans tie quite often. Although I don’t have a sexy distinguished salt-and-pepper beard. And I don’t usually drink Dos Equis.

  8. Katie L. says:

    Katie: you can’t throw lightning bolts or conjure plagues while wearing a soft, snuggly robe.

    I’m sorry, I think you’re forgetting that I’m going to be a Heavenly Mother, and as such I will be far too feminine and nurturing to throw lightning bolts and conjure plagues.

  9. BrianJ says:

    I always wondered what heavenly mothers do….

  10. katyjane says:

    I don’t want to be a naked god.

    I want to wear comfy jeans, boots, and pop star T-shirts of the people who I like (and obviously those people will be successful as they will be in my favor). My belt can have spikes on it that I can hurl at people as necessary. And my T-shirts will be soft and snuggly for all of the nurturing that I do as a heavenly mother.

  11. Kullervo says:

    I’m sorry, I think you’re forgetting that I’m going to be a Heavenly Mother, and as such I will be far too feminine and nurturing to throw lightning bolts and conjure plagues.

    Hera and Demeter do plenty of ass-kicking. As does Aphrodite. And they’re Heavenly Mothers that we actually know something about. Mormon Heavenly Mother is like 99.9% speculation.

    Demeter, the most nurturing mother ever, throws down famines, turns people into lizards, and makes winter last forever. And don’t even look at all the vengeance that Hera and Aphrodite lay down.

    Don’t give me “too feminine and nurturing.”

    I want to wear comfy jeans, boots, and pop star T-shirts of the people who I like (and obviously those people will be successful as they will be in my favor). My belt can have spikes on it that I can hurl at people as necessary. And my T-shirts will be soft and snuggly for all of the nurturing that I do as a heavenly mother.

    See, this is the right idea. Feminine and nurturing and vengeful and wrathful. Katyjane knows how to talk like a goddess.

  12. Katie L. says:

    I was mostly teasing, because Mormons always say we don’t know anything about Heavenly Mother because Heavenly Father protects Her so that Her tender sensibilities won’t be shattered. Sounds like fluffy robe material to me. 😉

    But you’ve convinced me. I want to be a kick-ass goddess, not a wussy one. How about this, minus, perhaps, the fake mustache.

  13. Kullervo says:

    But you’ve convinced me. I want to be a kick-ass goddess, not a wussy one. How about this, minus, perhaps, the fake mustache.

    Sure, that looks great. If you want all the other goddesses to laugh at you. I think its growing ever more clear which one of us is not going to be deified anytime soon.

  14. Katie L. says:

    FINE.

    I’ll keep the mustache.

  15. Ms. Jack says:

    You know, the other day I said to my husband, “If Adam & Eve were naked in the garden before the Fall, and all things are going to be restored, aren’t we all going to be naked in the next life?”

    He said not a chance. His proof was the fact that angels are always wearing clothes when they appear to humans. But maybe the angels just don’t want to make the humans even more uncomfortable than they already are, I said. I mean, seeing an angel is freaky enough. Can you imagine seeing a naked angel? I think the angels are just throwing on clothes for our benefit.

    So, I guess I’m either going naked. Or in a Snuggie.

  16. BrianJ says:

    “Snuggie” “soft robe”

    No offense, but what the hell is wrong with the Future Female Deities on this site?!?! You get the chance to become one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and you want to spend the time like you’re in some Hallmark commercial.

    Besides, I’m pretty sure that Joseph Smith taught that one can distinguish a true from a false angel because the former will wear a robe open in front (a la Moroni in Joseph’s cabin home) and the later will wear it open in the back—i.e., like a Snuggie.

    That said, I think your logic concerning the restoration of all things is solid.

  17. Ms. Jack says:

    No offense, but what the hell is wrong with the Future Female Deities on this site?!?!

    Offense taken. When I beat you to deification, you’re getting a lightning bolt up your ass, BFF.

    Besides, how do you know that I wasn’t planning on wearing my Snuggie backwards? Hmm? HMMM?!?!

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